the moment of “letting go”

“Sometimes the storm of life can literally brings us to our knees. Child Pose gives us the opportunity for spiritual surrender, to realize that ‘of myself, I can do nothing, but there is a power in me that can.’ We spend our whole lives resisting the idea of surrender, we see it as a weakness, as giving up. Then suddenly we hit a point where we realize that the moment of “letting go” is not when life is over, it is when life really begins…”

The quote above is given to all the BB instructors during our release 45 tuition…a great sharing from our head teacher. I don’t remember the source or origin of the quote… I am simply touch by the feeling behind every word.

It has come to a point for me…instead of fighting on to hold on permanent class…where I struggle in achieving what I wish in the class, but sometime fail to deliver due to the tiredness of the day… it is better for me to let it go.  Some people think that I am over critical to self. Yet, it does take me a while to get over it every time it happened.  Cheating and tolerating with sub standard is not my option. So, I knew the end is coming.

It was a quiet month (cum busy month)…the load of my work has driven me up to my neck like everyone else. Looking at the rate, I knew I need to be prepared for the closure, and I am right.

It is hard for me to initiate the closure although I am so burn-out, because the thought of unable to teach has truly saddened me. So, when it finally happened, part of me… I am glad…relief that I can retrieve my responsibility for some rest. The other part of me…feeling sad, because I know letting go of this commitment might also lead to a complete closure of this chapter…I know, the season coming to an end.

It was just a short 2 years…a wonderful journey I treasure. So much hard work, a group of people burning with the same passion and the will to do better each time…for the moment of fitness magic, is truly encouraging. It is about self discipline, the determination to work on, lots of practice, the excitement of each release and the love for those who enjoy the journey in the class…is such a joy to be teaching…truly.

I can’t foresee where will I be heading…if I would take on one or two from time to time…or a complete stop due to my overwhelming schedule, I am not sure yet…Whichever it is, I truly wish, those who is with me for the past 2 years, will continue their journey, enjoying this beautiful program in the days to come.

Then suddenly we hit a point where we realize that the moment of “letting go” is not when life is over, it is when life really begins…”

3 Dedications

Sometime a message is easier to deliver through writing…especially, when the message is hard to communicate in person. So, if a message is written under the category of dedication and the target appears as anonymous, it is actually “someone” who has a place in my heart.

Always, I hope “someone” would read it and catch the meaning of the writing, or at least find the reading applicable to part of his/her life.

If you nodded with the message, then…the message is dedicated to you.

1st Dedication: Distance

I know you are not far from me. But, I felt you are million miles away from me. I can no longer understand that glimpse of your eyes, smile on your face, words that you write and heartbeat of your life. Yet, I think (I hope) life is good to you…more than what I can see and what I read. I hope this life you are having is like a dream come true, although there are no longer a place for me. Yet, I am happy for you and always keep you in my prayer.

2nd Dedication: Favorite

Have favor on me, I asked. I am a little cold, I little ignorance and I little “into my own world” but you know I have a warm beating heart. I am more than a “title” you used to call me. You can call me by my name when you see me and I will definitely reply you with a BIG smile because you are special to me.

3rd Dedication: Personhood

Male

I am shocked to know you broke off with her, yet the reason doesn’t surprises me. I guess, knowing your kind of character (not that I know you a lot)…this is unavoidable. I hope you are not blaming yourself for the incident, instead…began to understand what you really want in life. Sometime, it is when you know what you want and living it out, you will be able to attract the right girls into your life, which will be comfortable with the way you are. She will be able to compliment you in everything that you do, because she is just another you.

Female

Girl…I am glad you took the step. I know it is not an easy one but you made it. There are many twist and turn in life which is unavoidable, but it has strengthen you and made you a more attractive women. The journey of your womanhood has just began and be sure to add a few more splash of colour, living the best out of your life. You know God is faithful, and He will surely bless you.

Sign-off with love

4 Letters for Ruby

Dear Ruby,
Please take care of the key for me. You know how my darling forgot keys. Also give her a good hug and snuggle for me. Tell her I love her too.Your Master.

Received 12:22:13………………………………………………………………………..

Dear Ruby,
Remember to turn on the air-corn for my darling tonight, she scared of hot. And also I’m waiting to fly at the depature gate.

Received 14:27:04………………………………………………………………………..

Ruby,
Boarding now. Hope this place I’m going is better than my last place. Will try to call and sms my beloved one. Bye Ruby.

Received 14:52:27…………………………………………………………………………

Hey Ruby,
Tell my darling, I am safe in Cambodia. Please ask her not to worry. Love, your master.

Received 17:44:23………………………………………………………………………….

Once someone asked this question…
“Why do you want to get married?”

The one surpose to answer the question…
“…”

There are many reasons why a man and a women wanted to get married. However, the complication of getting married and the risk one have to take after the wedding is far too unpredictable. No one can promise it was the right one, the right decision and most important of all…one will be happy ever after.

Sadly, the world reminded us the opposite.  If one is not optimistic or naive, it does required extra ordinary courage to be married and continue to work on the marriage.

The first year of marriage…the newly wed has equal of sweet times and challenges to overcome together. Just imagine how the men from Mars can live well with a women from Venus. It does certainly required lots of patient and communication, carefully not to drive the fragile relationship to the wall. We must acknowledge that too many people jump-off the ship right after the ship is set to sail.

So, the effort to bring the relationship a step further, increasing the quota of forgiveness and love to a new height is the only way out.

Someone once ask this question…
“What will you do if he will never change?”

The one surpose to answer…
“Be patient and be nice. Wait for him, just like how he waited for you.”

The answer above is true unless one is prepared to change their spouse. But, how many more of this to go?

So, be nice to your spouse because he/she is your selected one.  Remember to do anything which will bring joy and comfort to his/her heart. It will surely increase your love capacity too because this is a two way thing.

And, this is Ruby! ^_~

Prison of the mind

When it happened, it is my self awareness reminding me where the problem lays… the fact that one can’t get out of it… mainly due to the emotion flood at the moment.

Oh God, it has surely taken away the smile on my face, leaving me with expressionless face and hollow eyes. If you were to see my face now….I am sorry.

But, I can’t do anything better.

When the emotion flood lost its control and if I have to talk, you will notice me speaking in a very “professional” tone. Everything is pleasant; everything is straight to the point with no fancy humor, casual conversation nor extra unnecessary words. You will notice I am somehow distance away.

Yet, it is…the best way I can talk at that moment.

I wish to be more cheerful and optimistic so I can simply sake it off me like hot potato. But I can’t. I notice my weakness but I couldn’t help in repeating it again and again. I am too obsessive compulsive and that is truly a killer. It is a real mind prison.

I have enough with my bitter pity sad sad face. I must see it past!

Life is easier if one is happy.

Harvesting what you sow

Harvesting what you sow

“In every forest, on every farm, in every orchard on earth, it’s what’s under the ground that creates what’s above the ground. That’s why placing your attention on the fruits that you have already grown is futile. You cannot change the fruits that are already hanging on the tree. You can, however, change tomorrow’s fruits. But to do so, you will have to dig below the ground and strengthen the roots.”
- T. Harv Eker

The quote above is specially significant in this world wide economy downtime. It is time like this, you would really question your own strength and knowledge. What would you do if you were one of the victim in this down time? What can you do to earn a living? It is surely time to dig in to the root and change one perspective and attitude toward works and life.

You should truly praise God is you still earning your monthly salary and should truly stop complaining about what the company didn’t offer you – because truly now, it is the employer market. They will only choose those who can perform, those with good character and LOW COST (if possible).

I truly sad for those “LEGENDARY” skilled people, who is so highly paid, high profile becoming the crisis victim. I won’t think they deserve to be treated that way, as they are the pioneer that ignite our passion and uncovered our talent. However, it is just…sadly to say…time was really bad. It is time like this, all the sentimental value go straight down to the drain, and survivor nature shoot right to the surface.

Eventually, I truly hope…for those LEGENDARY skilled people, not to give up and stop complaining because complaining won’t bring you any further. It is like the wheat and weed grow together in the same field. The weed will stand tall and proud, but the wheat will humble his head because he is filled with knowledge and power. Eventually, during the harvest time, those without will be first to be cut away and thrown into fire.

Beside, if you think you are wheat, it is fine to bend (be flexible) as winner are those filled with knowledge and power, yet flexible to evolve and change, not those hard-headed insisting of standing tall and proud even though the burden is heavy, and the wind are strong.

I truly hope to see them on the stage once again, shining like the LEGENDARY Star I remembered.