Pale Seashell Summer Deco

How is your summer coming along? It is still warm in your part of the world?

We are having heat wave now in Asia. The never failing Jun-July Indonesia burning season never fail to turn my world pale, with a shade of haze and the burning smell. Every morning, I look out the window wishing those are not pollution but the morning mist, even though morning mist never exists in the concrete jungle. So, with my windows close tide and the cold air from the air-condition, as well as the air purifyer on, I love the pale pale city I see.

Many may prefer to brings colours into home during summer but I love the whitish pale shade. I start off with my seashell and raindrop deco first. Then, I found this very beautiful pale seashell from Sabah. Forgive me for collecting the seashell although I know it means killing the living creature who used to live inside. But, it is the development in my country that dig the sand from the deep ocean and fill the shore with more land for commercial purposes. Seashell like this often left abandon in hills of sand, and then under the development.

So, I make up my summer table centerpiece with this giant female seashell, company by pale green, blue pebbles, and more small seashell.

I also have the whitish coral rock on the display shelf. It looks awesome with my chrome coral tree don’t you think?

Have a blessed summer 🙂

 

 

Happy Birthday, Dad

June 19 is my dad birthday. He often look forward for his birthday and will remind us like a month in advance.

He hope we will be with him
He hope we will take him to somewhere nice
He hope we will bring him something special
He hope we will buy him things that he likes
He hope we will spend time listen to him

But this year, didn’t take him to anywhere, bring him anything or even do anything for him. It hurts me badly that we just let the day went to past like this. We didn’t even sit together to mourn because we done enough for the last 3 months.

I felt miserable to realize he has done his part but I didn’t do my part
I felt sorry I didn’t spend more time with him when I am able
I felt terrible that I realize it too late.

Hurt blind my heart. I am expecting too much from him. I didn’t learn earlier we shouldn’t compare, and each family has their own set of challenges. He may do many things wrong but he is still a good father. It is his responsibility to brings me up but not his responsibility to provide the perfect family I wish to have. I couldn’t realize this earlier. It is often easier to blame it to someone else.

I am sorry, daddy… I wish I can have my current understanding and the opportunity to go back to you. To thank you for all you have done and apologies for those years my heart is harden. I will not forgets how you have encourage me in pursuing in drawing and art. I wouldn’t never be as good as who I am today if not because you have natured my confidents. I always remember days I hide in your arm during the thunder storm. We sleep with our arm wide open on the football field watching the star and fireworks at night. I am deeply thankful for the warm chicken rice and roasted pork bun your brought for my breakfast. All the countless idea and things you build and fixed for us. Lastly, thank you for those newspaper you cut and compile your us. I will treasure it and remember you every time I read through them. Thank you, dad.

I hope my prayer brings you comfort. I hope the food I bring from many places still taste as good as it should be, and you are still able to enjoy them. I hope the hugs, and touch of my hands give you affirmation. I hope the words I speak delivered my love for you. If the medication and treatment cannot heal you, I hope the Lord give you comfort. I thank God that you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. It is the best gift you gave us, at the very last days of your life. At least I know you are in a better place, and a safe hand. I believe that you can fly freely again to anywhere you want to go, doing anything you wanted to do. Be free, be happy, and be sure that we will continue the legacy you leave behind.

Good bye, daddy…till I see you again in heaven. Happy Birthday. I will miss you always.

 

 

I must decrease

If you burn your pot of porridge, what will you do? Aww, just cook another pot. But, what if you burn your porridge so often that you felt so irritated with the fact that you didn’t learn your lesson? This is me. Arggg…

I couldn’t remember how many time I burn my porridge. It almost happen every time I cook porridge. You must be thinking…”WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMEN? SHE CAN’T EVEN GET A SIMPLE PORRIDGE RIGHT?”

Shamefully…with my head down, I can’t.

I can cook porridge. It is a simple Chinese dishes. I have my little container of chicken stock ready and all I need to do is just add in some rice, some water and the chicken stock in the pot. Then, I have my porridge in no time. It taste wonderful and delicious even without the seasoning. But, I often wanted to add some additional vegetables, some mince meat and etc to create different flavor and texture. That is not the cause of my burn porridge. But, it is when I had my porridge done and decided to go on with my daily life. When meal time is near, I run back to my pot of porridge and they often stick together like glue. The proper technique is to turn on the fire, add some hot water and give it a good stir from time to time. The key about this step is…NEVER WALK AWAY!!! The porridge is so sticky they often ended up sticking to the base of the pot and the next thing I know, not because I remember I am warming up my porridge, but because I smell something burning. There…I burn my porridge again, just like this. 😦

You must be wondering why I need to walk away? Well, I can give you ten thousand reason. But, to make long story short, my lil girl requested to go toilet. Then, a phone call coming in and I have a few words, follows by my lil girl shouting she need some toilet paper and there…I totally forgot about my porridge! The excuse is very reasonable, don’t you think?

JP decided he would eat the burn porridge since he’s so used to it. He even advise me to consider cooking something else that won’t get burn so easily, since I never learn my lesson.

I know my problem is always because I am trying to do too many things concurrently, which is beyond my capacity at times. So, I often make silly mistakes. I often running myself too thin. The thing is, it is not easy to work, to care for a child, to manage housework, laundry, cooking, checking letter and bills, keeping stock of household inventory, marketing and etc…all by same pair of hands. But, I believe I can manage, I am able if I plan my time and my resources properly. So, I have been trying to find a balance to achieve all I have to, need to and want to.

Then, this verse found me I found this verse… John 3:30

I hope and pray… He will increase my capacity. 🙂