I came across a writer who is very charming, talented, comfortably rich, single and available. He own 2 cafe and work as producer of a lifestyle magazine. He share one very essential things about his life, the decision to be single and to live with loneliness.
I have no idea what make a man like him chooses not to be married or having someone in life. But, he is certainly not the first man I know chosen to be alone. The most interesting part about their life is how they balance their life having people around them and being alone. They never mistreat themselves. They can be a good cook, enjoying cooking with a cup of wine company by their choice of music. All to their personal taste, their time and their liking. They can invite a friend or two but always go back to his bed, his comfort cave alone. They may be alone, but definitely not lonely.
I often think mothers who gave up their career for her family, especially those young family with young children are going through a season of caving. Their world become very small, focusing mainly on their baby and their husband. Family members around can be helpful but they are not with her day in day out. All her friends are either busy working or busy caring for their own family. She need to organize her daily routine with her child in mind, caring for them, going marketing, preparing food, laundry, cleaning, gardening and etc…all by herself. She needs to have not only the skill to plan and execute the task, but most importantly, emotionally independent to do it alone, persistently, in good time or bad. It is definitely not a path many can imagine till one really go through it. A close friend of mine, a new mommy to a 3 months old baby text me…” Things r like crazyyyy rite now…. @.@”
I consider this caving period as the season of sowing, like a dedicated farmer sowing life and good value into the field. It is not glamour, often crazy, come with lotsa hardwork and even boring at time. But, the harvest will be fruitful because we plow what we sow. So, I often encourage my girl friends who wanted children to be prepared for loneliness. And, learn to embrace loneliness. The key is to find joy in anything, and put effort to make a different in everything, even in very small things. Most importantly, seek God daily for strength and wisdom.