Happy Birthday, Dad

June 19 is my dad birthday. He often look forward for his birthday and will remind us like a month in advance.

He hope we will be with him
He hope we will take him to somewhere nice
He hope we will bring him something special
He hope we will buy him things that he likes
He hope we will spend time listen to him

But this year, didn’t take him to anywhere, bring him anything or even do anything for him. It hurts me badly that we just let the day went to past like this. We didn’t even sit together to mourn because we done enough for the last 3 months.

I felt miserable to realize he has done his part but I didn’t do my part
I felt sorry I didn’t spend more time with him when I am able
I felt terrible that I realize it too late.

Hurt blind my heart. I am expecting too much from him. I didn’t learn earlier we shouldn’t compare, and each family has their own set of challenges. He may do many things wrong but he is still a good father. It is his responsibility to brings me up but not his responsibility to provide the perfect family I wish to have. I couldn’t realize this earlier. It is often easier to blame it to someone else.

I am sorry, daddy… I wish I can have my current understanding and the opportunity to go back to you. To thank you for all you have done and apologies for those years my heart is harden. I will not forgets how you have encourage me in pursuing in drawing and art. I wouldn’t never be as good as who I am today if not because you have natured my confidents. I always remember days I hide in your arm during the thunder storm. We sleep with our arm wide open on the football field watching the star and fireworks at night. I am deeply thankful for the warm chicken rice and roasted pork bun your brought for my breakfast. All the countless idea and things you build and fixed for us. Lastly, thank you for those newspaper you cut and compile your us. I will treasure it and remember you every time I read through them. Thank you, dad.

I hope my prayer brings you comfort. I hope the food I bring from many places still taste as good as it should be, and you are still able to enjoy them. I hope the hugs, and touch of my hands give you affirmation. I hope the words I speak delivered my love for you. If the medication and treatment cannot heal you, I hope the Lord give you comfort. I thank God that you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. It is the best gift you gave us, at the very last days of your life. At least I know you are in a better place, and a safe hand. I believe that you can fly freely again to anywhere you want to go, doing anything you wanted to do. Be free, be happy, and be sure that we will continue the legacy you leave behind.

Good bye, daddy…till I see you again in heaven. Happy Birthday. I will miss you always.

 

 

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I loved you at your darkest

Recently, I am having lotsa moment that I need the extra “GRACE” from Him.

I am not kind when I am disappointed
I don’t smile when I am tired
I am angry when I am rejected
I get sick when I am blamed
I persecute myself when I regret

I am not the me I want to be. I reject this me…the darker side of me. The sinful side of me.

Then, I found this verse…

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

And it also written this way…

I loved you at your darkest.
Romans 5:8

It is very comforting to know that God love me even when I am a sinner, or I am at my darkest. I am not perfect and goody nice sweet lady next door angel all the time. It is not my excuse but is just a natural part of every human being, living a journey call life.

I do hope and pray, this darkest part of me can be minimize as much as possible. So, I created this quote art for this purposes. Not to allow myself to drift into darkness, but I allow myself to come out from it quickly before I got suck into it.

5 Love language

Love never fails

1 Cor 13:8

I am a doer. I believe if love and marriage is an assignment, I will make it work. It is not an option, but a decision. I am not in my mother’s generation where she only get to meet their groom for the first time on their wedding days. I choose my own husband. It is my own decision, in good time or bad, in sickness or good health. I couldn’t accept the idea of keeping the “quit” in my head all the time, and waiting to throw the towel whenever the hardship came. I believe love never fails because God never fails.

Have you heard about the 5 love language? If not, please check out “Your love language” test. Just a few simple questions and answering, you will know what you truly need, emotionally, physically and mentally. The answer will help to make your “love” works.

Mine is “Act of service” & “Quality Time”

This first one makes a lot os sense…being a mother, a wife, a graphic designer, an artist and a daughter, I have a lot to do. I seriously, definitely, absolutely, without doubt need help in any possible ways, duration and variety just to give me a breather, a me time, and most importantly… a time to rest.

“Quality time” is what I least aspected. I always thought I am the “Word of affirmation” type of person. But, JP knows me better. He guess both of my love language correctly. I married the right guy… yeah! 😛

After some reflection, the test is accurate. Having a lil girl with us, we don’t have lotsa opportunity going for movie, dating and doing all the romantic things anymore. It is more like…time doing things together. Going to market in the morning, walking together in the park, going for a swim(water play with lil girl), building a play kitchen for Issy, painting the wall, baking some cupcake, traveling to places where we chat and chat on any random stuff. Communication is the key for my relationship. It help us to resolve issues, sharing each other burden, and setting goals, for ourselves and the family. Quality communication and time together brings us closer to each other.

So, what is yours? Do try out the test and find out for both you and your partner, as well as your child (if you have any). It will definitely make your life easier. 😉

Note about the quote art:
I created this quote art “Love Never Fails” with the idea of God as the anchor of love. If we lives our life using the concept of “LOVE” from the world (from what the media told us, the movie, film, story and the people around us), we often fail to live up to it and feeling hurt all the time because non of these love is perfect. So, if we set God’s love as our anchor and definition of love, His love will makes perfect in us, because His love is perfect and sufficient for us.

I am in love with the vintage treatment. So, I have the french linen texture as the base and create the quote art with the compass of cross, which represented Jesus Christ as the anchor.

I will be creating another 2 quote art using the same treatment to complete the set of 3 in every collection. Stay tune for more soon.