June 19 is my dad birthday. He often look forward for his birthday and will remind us like a month in advance.
He hope we will be with him
He hope we will take him to somewhere nice
He hope we will bring him something special
He hope we will buy him things that he likes
He hope we will spend time listen to him
But this year, didn’t take him to anywhere, bring him anything or even do anything for him. It hurts me badly that we just let the day went to past like this. We didn’t even sit together to mourn because we done enough for the last 3 months.
I felt miserable to realize he has done his part but I didn’t do my part
I felt sorry I didn’t spend more time with him when I am able
I felt terrible that I realize it too late.
Hurt blind my heart. I am expecting too much from him. I didn’t learn earlier we shouldn’t compare, and each family has their own set of challenges. He may do many things wrong but he is still a good father. It is his responsibility to brings me up but not his responsibility to provide the perfect family I wish to have. I couldn’t realize this earlier. It is often easier to blame it to someone else.
I am sorry, daddy… I wish I can have my current understanding and the opportunity to go back to you. To thank you for all you have done and apologies for those years my heart is harden. I will not forgets how you have encourage me in pursuing in drawing and art. I wouldn’t never be as good as who I am today if not because you have natured my confidents. I always remember days I hide in your arm during the thunder storm. We sleep with our arm wide open on the football field watching the star and fireworks at night. I am deeply thankful for the warm chicken rice and roasted pork bun your brought for my breakfast. All the countless idea and things you build and fixed for us. Lastly, thank you for those newspaper you cut and compile your us. I will treasure it and remember you every time I read through them. Thank you, dad.
I hope my prayer brings you comfort. I hope the food I bring from many places still taste as good as it should be, and you are still able to enjoy them. I hope the hugs, and touch of my hands give you affirmation. I hope the words I speak delivered my love for you. If the medication and treatment cannot heal you, I hope the Lord give you comfort. I thank God that you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. It is the best gift you gave us, at the very last days of your life. At least I know you are in a better place, and a safe hand. I believe that you can fly freely again to anywhere you want to go, doing anything you wanted to do. Be free, be happy, and be sure that we will continue the legacy you leave behind.
Good bye, daddy…till I see you again in heaven. Happy Birthday. I will miss you always.
I know this is a little sudden but I can assure you I have no choice but to make this switch…for GOOD!
The reason being…
1) The previous setting don’t work well on mobile. This is important to me, and I am sure to you as well. I browse my blog on the go. The flexibility to view and edit without the complication of scroll and resize allows me to check, update, reply and post more often.
2) I love the much clean slick look of the current theme. It allows my picture to speak louder with the bigger space. Thank God for the new 960px! Wow! I love it!
3) Better organized content. You must agree with me that the new setting give more breathing space and very clear where to find the content you need without scroll up and down. Just go straight to the bottom!
4) And, Okay…is 2013! We need a fresh new look for 2013, don’t you agree?
Last but not least…just something I am dying to share…my lil girl birthday photo!
Just look at how happy she is when we sing her birthday song! This is what I mean by true blessingssssss!
Have you been busy? I am. Christmas, family time, clearing leave, holiday, celebration and etc… How can one not? Are you grateful that all is over and now everything fall back to normal? I enjoy every bit of everything but now I am truly happy that I can sleep in a lil again. I couldn’t remember how many gift I bought, wrapped, and give away…how many guest I have over for dinner, or dinner I went, and not to mention how many chicken I killed to feed my guest. Okay, not the killing part, but just cooking to feed part is true. I pray that the chicken will forgive me. No part has gone to waste. Amen.
Another thing I am grateful of…I lil girl turn ONE! Yeah, she completed her first year and now moving strong to two! Surely, I prepared a birthday celebration for her, or maybe more like for me to celebrate her life in my life….and how I ended up falling sick 2 days before her birthday after attempting to do up too much. Then, I shamefully do not have much picture to show you how much deco I put up because I am trying to pull myself together with lotsa medicine before my guest arrive. Thankfully, with the help of friends and my brother…I am able to pull off my ambitious cooking plan up to almost 90%. The only down side about the food is…salty meatball which I fail terribly due to my dull taste bud. Still, I am grateful everyone enjoy it and most importantly….I lil girl have lotsa fun. She is the center of everything and I couldn’t ask for more.
I am glad that I get to spend quality time with her, looking at how much she has grown and imagining what she will be. I couldn’t deny all the hard work is very tiring. But, every milestone she achieve, kissing her the very first thing in morning, smelling her sweet sweet scent often just filled my heart with joy. I Thank God for my lovely family.
I hope you too surrounded by all your love ones and have a blessed 2013!