I must decrease

If you burn your pot of porridge, what will you do? Aww, just cook another pot. But, what if you burn your porridge so often that you felt so irritated with the fact that you didn’t learn your lesson? This is me. Arggg…

I couldn’t remember how many time I burn my porridge. It almost happen every time I cook porridge. You must be thinking…”WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMEN? SHE CAN’T EVEN GET A SIMPLE PORRIDGE RIGHT?”

Shamefully…with my head down, I can’t.

I can cook porridge. It is a simple Chinese dishes. I have my little container of chicken stock ready and all I need to do is just add in some rice, some water and the chicken stock in the pot. Then, I have my porridge in no time. It taste wonderful and delicious even without the seasoning. But, I often wanted to add some additional vegetables, some mince meat and etc to create different flavor and texture. That is not the cause of my burn porridge. But, it is when I had my porridge done and decided to go on with my daily life. When meal time is near, I run back to my pot of porridge and they often stick together like glue. The proper technique is to turn on the fire, add some hot water and give it a good stir from time to time. The key about this step is…NEVER WALK AWAY!!! The porridge is so sticky they often ended up sticking to the base of the pot and the next thing I know, not because I remember I am warming up my porridge, but because I smell something burning. There…I burn my porridge again, just like this. 😦

You must be wondering why I need to walk away? Well, I can give you ten thousand reason. But, to make long story short, my lil girl requested to go toilet. Then, a phone call coming in and I have a few words, follows by my lil girl shouting she need some toilet paper and there…I totally forgot about my porridge! The excuse is very reasonable, don’t you think?

JP decided he would eat the burn porridge since he’s so used to it. He even advise me to consider cooking something else that won’t get burn so easily, since I never learn my lesson.

I know my problem is always because I am trying to do too many things concurrently, which is beyond my capacity at times. So, I often make silly mistakes. I often running myself too thin. The thing is, it is not easy to work, to care for a child, to manage housework, laundry, cooking, checking letter and bills, keeping stock of household inventory, marketing and etc…all by same pair of hands. But, I believe I can manage, I am able if I plan my time and my resources properly. So, I have been trying to find a balance to achieve all I have to, need to and want to.

Then, this verse found me I found this verse… John 3:30

I hope and pray… He will increase my capacity. 🙂

Advertisement

I loved you at your darkest

Recently, I am having lotsa moment that I need the extra “GRACE” from Him.

I am not kind when I am disappointed
I don’t smile when I am tired
I am angry when I am rejected
I get sick when I am blamed
I persecute myself when I regret

I am not the me I want to be. I reject this me…the darker side of me. The sinful side of me.

Then, I found this verse…

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

And it also written this way…

I loved you at your darkest.
Romans 5:8

It is very comforting to know that God love me even when I am a sinner, or I am at my darkest. I am not perfect and goody nice sweet lady next door angel all the time. It is not my excuse but is just a natural part of every human being, living a journey call life.

I do hope and pray, this darkest part of me can be minimize as much as possible. So, I created this quote art for this purposes. Not to allow myself to drift into darkness, but I allow myself to come out from it quickly before I got suck into it.