Living with loneliness

I came across a writer who is very charming, talented, comfortably rich, single and available. He own 2 cafe and work as producer of a lifestyle magazine. He share one very essential things about his life, the decision to be single and to live with loneliness.

I have no idea what make a man like him chooses not to be married or having someone in life. But, he is certainly not the first man I know chosen to be alone. The most interesting part about their life is how they balance their life having people around them and being alone. They never mistreat themselves. They can be a good cook, enjoying cooking with a cup of wine company by their choice of music. All to their personal taste, their time and their liking. They can invite a friend or two but always go back to his bed, his comfort cave alone. They may be alone, but definitely not lonely.

I often think mothers who gave up their career for her family, especially those young family with young children are going through a season of caving. Their world become very small, focusing mainly on their baby and their husband. Family members around can be helpful but they are not with her day in day out. All her friends are either busy working or busy caring for their own family. She need to organize her daily routine with her child in mind, caring for them, going marketing, preparing food, laundry, cleaning, gardening and etc…all by herself. She needs to have not only the skill to plan and execute the task, but most importantly, emotionally independent to do it alone, persistently, in good time or bad. It is definitely not a path many can imagine till one really go through it. A close friend of mine, a new mommy to a 3 months old baby text me…” Things r like crazyyyy rite now…. @.@”

I consider this caving period as the season of sowing, like a dedicated farmer sowing life and good value into the field. It is not glamour, often crazy, come with lotsa hardwork and even boring at time. But, the harvest will be fruitful because we plow what we sow. So, I often encourage my girl friends who wanted children to be prepared for loneliness. And, learn to embrace loneliness. The key is to find joy in anything, and put effort to make a different in everything, even in very small things. Most importantly, seek God daily for strength and wisdom.

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We are more than a conquerers

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No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Romans 8:37

This is the quote written on my chalkboard at my kitchen for this month. I need to look at it everyday to remind myself… I am more than conqueror through HIM who loved me.

I share the same quote with 3 of my close ladies yesterday. They each have very sad story to tell…

1st – A women with 3 young children but husband do not love her. They sleep in the separate room in the same house. She cry every night to sleep.

2nd – A women with husband married for almost 10 years. Husband has affair and move out. Then, husband return and ask for forgiveness yet being rejected by her family. Having “secret” relationship with her husband. No children.

3rd – A women looking for the right man but he never come.

What kind of advise would you give? Then, I remember a story…

A man won the boxing championship. He’s very happy cause not only he is the champion of the year, but he also won 1 million. In the interview, he say this proudly…

“I conquer my fear, conquer all the opponent and won the championship. “

The same night, he return home to his family, giving his wife a kiss and say…

“Darling, I won you the championship and here is the 1 million”

He is a conqueror for sure. He won the championship and 1 million. But, his wife is MORE THAN A CONQUEROR because her husband LOVE her dearly and DO IT ALL FOR HER.

So, to my dear friends who is struggling in their relationship. Do not fight with your man. It is not the matter of winning, or who give more/ less. But, if divorce is not an option, LOVE HIM FIRST, even when the situation is HARD. Trust that GOD is LOVE.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

1 Cor 13: 4-8

Love is sacrificial to begin with. But, if women today refuse to sacrifice their pride for their family, there will not be a next generation because even child birth itself is a sacrificial act.

I believe with all my heart women are more than a conqueror. WE CAN OVERCOME ANYTHING THROUGH GOD WHO STRENGTHEN US.

With lotsa hugs and tears…DON’T GIVE UP MY FRIEND. DON’T!

 

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Let me go

Let me go

Is mother’s day. My second mother’s day because of this lil girl. I m different in many ways because of her. My everyday is very much about her, including mother’s day. I took her together with her grandma to the mountain for a weekend holiday.

We were in the lavendar park and she say…

“Mommy, let me go”

I wonder, will I ever ready to let her go…

Happy mother’s day to all wonderful mother!