“Sometimes the storm of life can literally brings us to our knees. Child Pose gives us the opportunity for spiritual surrender, to realize that ‘of myself, I can do nothing, but there is a power in me that can.’ We spend our whole lives resisting the idea of surrender, we see it as a weakness, as giving up. Then suddenly we hit a point where we realize that the moment of “letting go” is not when life is over, it is when life really begins…”

The quote above is given to all the BB instructors during our release 45 tuition…a great sharing from our head teacher. I don’t remember the source or origin of the quote… I am simply touch by the feeling behind every word.

It has come to a point for me…instead of fighting on to hold on permanent class…where I struggle in achieving what I wish in the class, but sometime fail to deliver due to the tiredness of the day… it is better for me to let it go.  Some people think that I am over critical to self. Yet, it does take me a while to get over it every time it happened.  Cheating and tolerating with sub standard is not my option. So, I knew the end is coming.

It was a quiet month (cum busy month)…the load of my work has driven me up to my neck like everyone else. Looking at the rate, I knew I need to be prepared for the closure, and I am right.

It is hard for me to initiate the closure although I am so burn-out, because the thought of unable to teach has truly saddened me. So, when it finally happened, part of me… I am glad…relief that I can retrieve my responsibility for some rest. The other part of me…feeling sad, because I know letting go of this commitment might also lead to a complete closure of this chapter…I know, the season coming to an end.

It was just a short 2 years…a wonderful journey I treasure. So much hard work, a group of people burning with the same passion and the will to do better each time…for the moment of fitness magic, is truly encouraging. It is about self discipline, the determination to work on, lots of practice, the excitement of each release and the love for those who enjoy the journey in the class…is such a joy to be teaching…truly.

I can’t foresee where will I be heading…if I would take on one or two from time to time…or a complete stop due to my overwhelming schedule, I am not sure yet…Whichever it is, I truly wish, those who is with me for the past 2 years, will continue their journey, enjoying this beautiful program in the days to come.

Then suddenly we hit a point where we realize that the moment of “letting go” is not when life is over, it is when life really begins…”

Sometime a message is easier to deliver through writing…especially, when the message is hard to communicate in person. So, if a message is written under the category of dedication and the target appears as anonymous, it is actually “someone” who has a place in my heart.

Always, I hope “someone” would read it and catch the meaning of the writing, or at least find the reading applicable to part of his/her life.

If you nodded with the message, then…the message is dedicated to you.

1st Dedication: Distance

I know you are not far from me. But, I felt you are million miles away from me. I can no longer understand that glimpse of your eyes, smile on your face, words that you write and heartbeat of your life. Yet, I think (I hope) life is good to you…more than what I can see and what I read. I hope this life you are having is like a dream come true, although there are no longer a place for me. Yet, I am happy for you and always keep you in my prayer.

2nd Dedication: Favorite

Have favor on me, I asked. I am a little cold, I little ignorance and I little “into my own world” but you know I have a warm beating heart. I am more than a “title” you used to call me. You can call me by my name when you see me and I will definitely reply you with a BIG smile because you are special to me.

3rd Dedication: Personhood

Male

I am shocked to know you broke off with her, yet the reason doesn’t surprises me. I guess, knowing your kind of character (not that I know you a lot)…this is unavoidable. I hope you are not blaming yourself for the incident, instead…began to understand what you really want in life. Sometime, it is when you know what you want and living it out, you will be able to attract the right girls into your life, which will be comfortable with the way you are. She will be able to compliment you in everything that you do, because she is just another you.

Female

Girl…I am glad you took the step. I know it is not an easy one but you made it. There are many twist and turn in life which is unavoidable, but it has strengthen you and made you a more attractive women. The journey of your womanhood has just began and be sure to add a few more splash of colour, living the best out of your life. You know God is faithful, and He will surely bless you.

Sign-off with love

Dear Ruby,
Please take care of the key for me. You know how my darling forgot keys. Also give her a good hug and snuggle for me. Tell her I love her too.Your Master.

Received 12:22:13………………………………………………………………………..

Dear Ruby,
Remember to turn on the air-corn for my darling tonight, she scared of hot. And also I’m waiting to fly at the depature gate.

Received 14:27:04………………………………………………………………………..

Ruby,
Boarding now. Hope this place I’m going is better than my last place. Will try to call and sms my beloved one. Bye Ruby.

Received 14:52:27…………………………………………………………………………

Hey Ruby,
Tell my darling, I am safe in Cambodia. Please ask her not to worry. Love, your master.

Received 17:44:23………………………………………………………………………….

Once someone asked this question…
“Why do you want to get married?”

The one surpose to answer the question…
“…”

There are many reasons why a man and a women wanted to get married. However, the complication of getting married and the risk one have to take after the wedding is far too unpredictable. No one can promise it was the right one, the right decision and most important of all…one will be happy ever after.

Sadly, the world reminded us the opposite.  If one is not optimistic or naive, it does required extra ordinary courage to be married and continue to work on the marriage.

The first year of marriage…the newly wed has equal of sweet times and challenges to overcome together. Just imagine how the men from Mars can live well with a women from Venus. It does certainly required lots of patient and communication, carefully not to drive the fragile relationship to the wall. We must acknowledge that too many people jump-off the ship right after the ship is set to sail.

So, the effort to bring the relationship a step further, increasing the quota of forgiveness and love to a new height is the only way out.

Someone once ask this question…
“What will you do if he will never change?”

The one surpose to answer…
“Be patient and be nice. Wait for him, just like how he waited for you.”

The answer above is true unless one is prepared to change their spouse. But, how many more of this to go?

So, be nice to your spouse because he/she is your selected one.  Remember to do anything which will bring joy and comfort to his/her heart. It will surely increase your love capacity too because this is a two way thing.

And, this is Ruby! ^_~

When it happened, it is my self awareness reminding me where the problem lays… the fact that one can’t get out of it… mainly due to the emotion flood at the moment.

Oh God, it has surely taken away the smile on my face, leaving me with expressionless face and hollow eyes. If you were to see my face now….I am sorry.

But, I can’t do anything better.

When the emotion flood lost its control and if I have to talk, you will notice me speaking in a very “professional” tone. Everything is pleasant; everything is straight to the point with no fancy humor, casual conversation nor extra unnecessary words. You will notice I am somehow distance away.

Yet, it is…the best way I can talk at that moment.

I wish to be more cheerful and optimistic so I can simply sake it off me like hot potato. But I can’t. I notice my weakness but I couldn’t help in repeating it again and again. I am too obsessive compulsive and that is truly a killer. It is a real mind prison.

I have enough with my bitter pity sad sad face. I must see it past!

Life is easier if one is happy.

Harvesting what you sow

“In every forest, on every farm, in every orchard on earth, it’s what’s under the ground that creates what’s above the ground. That’s why placing your attention on the fruits that you have already grown is futile. You cannot change the fruits that are already hanging on the tree. You can, however, change tomorrow’s fruits. But to do so, you will have to dig below the ground and strengthen the roots.”
- T. Harv Eker

The quote above is specially significant in this world wide economy downtime. It is time like this, you would really question your own strength and knowledge. What would you do if you were one of the victim in this down time? What can you do to earn a living? It is surely time to dig in to the root and change one perspective and attitude toward works and life.

You should truly praise God is you still earning your monthly salary and should truly stop complaining about what the company didn’t offer you – because truly now, it is the employer market. They will only choose those who can perform, those with good character and LOW COST (if possible).

I truly sad for those “LEGENDARY” skilled people, who is so highly paid, high profile becoming the crisis victim. I won’t think they deserve to be treated that way, as they are the pioneer that ignite our passion and uncovered our talent. However, it is just…sadly to say…time was really bad. It is time like this, all the sentimental value go straight down to the drain, and survivor nature shoot right to the surface.

Eventually, I truly hope…for those LEGENDARY skilled people, not to give up and stop complaining because complaining won’t bring you any further. It is like the wheat and weed grow together in the same field. The weed will stand tall and proud, but the wheat will humble his head because he is filled with knowledge and power. Eventually, during the harvest time, those without will be first to be cut away and thrown into fire.

Beside, if you think you are wheat, it is fine to bend (be flexible) as winner are those filled with knowledge and power, yet flexible to evolve and change, not those hard-headed insisting of standing tall and proud even though the burden is heavy, and the wind are strong.

I truly hope to see them on the stage once again, shining like the LEGENDARY Star I remembered.

I am going around making a few splash of ink…yet the colour just fade away. I stop adding the blending liquid but dry splash of paint hoping to bring out the contrast of life.

Still, everything is pastel as this is always the way I am. Yet, the feeling is extreme. You can surely find it in between of the light and shadow.

I am who I am because you love me…

I love traveling, but I haven’t been doing it for a while. To me, working trip and leisure traveling is totally different story all over. The experience and and expectation is different. So, my Hong Kong cum China trip last year, and Germany cum London trip early this year is merely a biz trip. If you work with me before, or know the way I work, I am usually very objective oriented person. I will focus on what I want to achieved rather than where I must go and what I must do during my biz trip.

So now, I am going for a real trip to Bali. It is a valentine gift from JP. He know my desire for freedom and personal sophisticated preference. So, I basically get to make the call of what or where I would go. The disadvantage is, I have to do the homework.  Urgh…

Bali is a beautiful island with nice beaches, nice architecture building (usually palace & temple) with very own Bali flavor and many concept hotel given different sensation based on different choice. To me, there is something I really really want to do… on top of the beautiful beaches, shopping and spa and….it is to discover the taste of the infamous Kopi Luwak (civet coffee). It can be found in an Orchid Garden in Denpasar. The unusual Indonesian bean sells for as much as $1,200 a kilogram in the United States, making it the world’s most expensive coffee.

The coffee, branded as among he rarest in the world, is naturally fermented through a civet cat’s digestive tract. Luwak- a cat-like mammal that lives in coffee plantations in Sulawesi, Java and Sumatra. Luwak exists entirely only the choicest, most perfectly matured beans which it then excretes, collected, clean it up, roast it and finally brewing these beans produces an unusual drink. The beans are hard to come by, which makes it exclusive and therefore, to some…very high class.

I am very tempted to try the coffee for years, yet after several days of research and reading…I am considering to drop the idea. Based on one of the feedback I found, the Kopi Luwak doesn’t taste as fantastic as it sounds. The idea of drinking the “poo” wasn’t a great sight to begin with, on top of that, I am not confident with the cleaning and brewing process prior to serving. Lastly, it would cost me RM120 for 2, the most expensive coffee I ever had in my life.

I am not sure if I am trying to convince you, or myself that I am not going for it…but anyway, do let me know if you tried it before or if I should go and give it a try.

Cheers! ^_~

I am in Frankfurt for the Christmas Fair 2009. It is my first time to Frankfurt…yet I didn’t get more time to go around, not even get a chance to drink the famous Germany beer…urgh! Actually, I started vomit the moment I touch down in the airport and I have not idea why. It doesn’t get better even after I settle down. Having the jet lag all over me, I am too very regular to the washroom.

So, the only one thing I do is some hot chocolate (the only food/drink my body allowed) and a walk at the park.

It is 8am in the morning…a breath of fresh air and the internal serenity experienced before beautiful scenery.

Morning walk at the park near my hotel

I can see the droplet of water on its head…

I don’t think this is eatable…

I simply love the colors and the lines…

Truly, is freezing cold here…but I am fine. God given auto-body heater in me is in its tip top condition. So, most of the time…snow or rain, I feel good.

2 February 2009 (Monday) – the whole London stood still due to the heaviest snow storm in the past 18 years. Most were worried about me (thanks for praying for me)…but actually…I travel from Frankfurt to London when the condition is slightly better. However, I still got stuck in the airport for 5 hours and inside the plane for another 2 hours. Most of the time, we just sit and wait for someone to tell us when our aircraft is ready for boarding, when runway is ready for landing, and last…when is our turn to leave the aircraft and go into the terminal. It is truly exhausting experience.

However, in the other hand, I felt blessed. I never see or touches the real “snow” before (the one I had in the ski resort are man made). So, despite of the exhausting wait, I look forward for the snow…to see it fall from the sky, and land on my face.

Anyway, I am not going to write anymore…I just  love London.

In London, red belongs to winter. Enjoy!

£3 Billion cost of shambles in the snow

Spring Fair – This is an animated Gorilla (suitable for Halloween ^_~)

Squirrel are very much a shy animal…but not this two.

Making snowman with bare hand…my hands turned red

My first love…and I left him

Hyre Park – resting

This is London…more beautiful than what I imagine. Would you agree with me?

First of all, Happy Chinese New Year to ALL Chinese who celebrate Chinese New Year.

It was an extraordinary year for me. I have a good time visiting east Malaysia and celebrating Chinese New Year away from my own parent for the first time. I come to realize (although I should have known) that every family celebrate their Chinese New Year differently. All family do have the same new year eve dinner, the AngPao and the mandarine orange…yet it was different. Specially, the food we eat.

The food and the cooking style is very much different from my own family. Overall…they like it sweet. The new year dishes and the cookies are sweeter than average I had from my home. More meat dishes compares with vegetable and seafood.

I came from a farmer’s family, my grandfather is a farmer. I am very used to having more than 2 type of vege serving on the table among all the other meat and seafood. I always thought this is a common practise for all the others. Yet, I am wrong. I found out that my brother-in-law, my sister-in-law family, including my own in-law family are very much a meat eater. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law never had that much of vege untill they come to our family, which they take some time to get used to.

Beside, it is not common for others to eat Steamboat during CNY, but it is a must have in my parent’s house. ^_~ You have no idea how much I miss the steamboat and vegetables.

Yet, spending Chinese New Year with my in-law is very nice. It is always good to spend time together as a family. Having a 8 months old baby(JP’s niece) among us surely brighten up the long travelling from one place to another.

I had a good new year, how about you?

I been showing too much sorrow recently…my apology!

Here’s something sweet and wonderful I prefer to remember and share. It is these good time with family motivated me to move on and never give up.

I am not going into jokes and stories we share…but more of what we cook and eat.

O yeah…I have a 4.5kg turkey for 2008 Christmas. Got it last minute from Bangsar Grocer – a frozen turkey. It took 8 hours to defroze, 3 hour of marination, another 3 hour of rosting in the oven, and lastly, add-on 2 hour to settle down (get cold). It turn out quite well.

Then, I have my husband anviously waiting to cut the turkey…he’s so cute…and he cut it wrongly!

An add-on…a short story – when I am preparing the turkey, my family claimed that is my 2nd time cooking a turkey. I told them it was my 3rd but they didn’t believe.  Somehow, everyone forgotten about the 2nd turkey I did on 2007. I doesn’t help no matter how I explain and descibe it. Then, I remember this post. I think, they probably mistaken the turkey with a big chicken because it was just a 3.5kg turkey. Anyway, thanks to this blog journal I have. I just log on to my blog and “tadang”!!!! I proved to them that this is my 3rd (yet to be the last) turkey. Hurrey!!!

Anyway…I love it all! Here are some photos for your leisure!

The before…

And after…

The full dinner for 10 adults and 2 babies

The Chefs…

What else?

Alright…moving on! I look forward for CNY. I will be flying to KK to my husband hometown, crossing the ocean to Labuan to visit his grandma, then a short trip back to my hometown Melaka, and continue by a week business trip to Germany and UK. Plenty of flying around…pray for my journey mercy yah!

Till then, cheers ^_~

I know the title sound very wrong…and is wrong, but still…this is how I feel at the moment.

End of 2008, early 2009…one common topic most will talk about is the economy situation of the country. You don’t have to be a prophet to know, 2009 is going to be a hard year.

How hard is it? Well, it is subject to the industry you are in and the role you are playing. Anyway, one common ground we all have…spend wisely and don’t lost your job no matter how. So, no matter what challenges you faced in your work…you must persevere.

Having this mentality in mind, I know that I must press-on and continue. But allow me…for once, allow me to be a withdrawer, even when the timing is wrong.

I am not complaining. I just wish I can care less. I wish I can be stronger (2nd time I say this. 1st is here). I want to leave, before they hurt me further.

Since I can’t be hash to people, doesn’t mean I allow others to be hash to me.
Since I am incapable to STEP on others back to survive, doesn’t mean I can’t walk away.

No point to argue who’s right or wrong, but if one is willing or not. I am not willing…not willing to continue. Meanwhile…

Genesis 50:20 (New International Version)
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

Do you ever encounter situation where you don’t know what you are doing but when you notice, you miss a turn and oversight on some basic thing. You feel worst if you make the same mistake more than once.

I am probably in the dreamland for the past one week. I couldn’t count how many mistakes I make but it is simply unbelievable.

Here is one good example…

One day…as I am driving to work. I need to make an right turn toward Pencala Link to office. Instead, I make a left turn. When I notice, I am already at the end of the junction. I couldn’t take that route because is usually very “jam” on the weekday. I decided to take a U-Turn and go back to where I begin and turn to the route I suppose to take.

As I do that, the next thing I notice, I am already at the end of the junction. I am again, at the wrong side of the road. It was a “O My God! What happened to me?”. I almost felt like slapping myself and say…”Hey girl, wake up!”

I have no choice but to make another U-Turn and I tell myself I must turn right. I actually shouting out loud in my car…”Turn right, turn right, turn right….”

Finally I get to my office 20 min late. Don’t ask me what happened because I have no idea. When I doing the left turn, I have no clue where is my “mind”.

Same thing as this happened in other area and trust me, I am very frustrated with it. Yet, I thank God the busy period is over. Now is just settle down and start to chillax* a little. So, let me be blur so long I hurt no one, let me dream, let me fly away to a far far away land…let the bell jingle all the way toward Christmas…

Disclaimer: No one (any living things or non living things) is hurt during my dreamy car drive.
New Vocabulary: Chillax is a new word introduce since the YACamp 2008. It means, chill & relax.
Remark: This picture above is titled “Dreaming of Christmas”. Hope you like it.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! Cheers ^_~

First of all, I like to thank you for coming and participated in the celebration, as well as the show. You guys are simply brilliant. I couldn’t enjoy it more!

Here’s a few words from the bottom of my heart…

Thanks for making my little Christmas production come true
Thanks for being so funny and bring so much joy to the house

Lastly…

Thanks for being so wonderfully the way you are. I praise God for you. May you have a blessed Christmas!

Remark: There is the poster I created for this little show we did. Click here for the full event coverage.

Christmas is everywhere…and everyone celebrates with joy. This is the magic influence of Christmas.

For this magical hour, I hand drawn a few cards for you.

All I wanted to say…MERRY CHRISTMAS! May you have a wonderful and blessed Christmas!

Finally came the time of the year, a time of feast and fun – Christmas!

Yeah!!!! Christmas is around the corner again! I always love this season, even though I have so much of it in my work until I get so “jelak” (over expose) to the Santa and his fellow “kaki” (members). But still, as the season taking its baby foot step closer, I began to felt excited…even though once again…I still have the 2009 Christmas Lights Design to be clear before this coming 2008 Christmas. Sorry to be a little long winded here…it is seriously a paint when you have too much of it.

Anyway, this is certainly a special year. On top of all the political, international and climate changes, this is a year that filled with so much unexpected decision and changes. Would you agree with me?

So, as I am planning for a time to get together-gether for Christmas, I like to use the theme of “Reflect I journeyed”. A time to reflect our journey and share in a fun fun way!

Take a look at this invitation. Let me know if you interested to volunteer yourself to join this celebration — the condition is, you must share your journey (entirely, quarterly or even super partially at your comfort). Please kindly prepare your story in a most interesting manner. Is Christmas, don’t make me cry or make me fall asleep.

The invitation with full details will be send to you personally in email or mail to acknowledge your reservation.

Well, just to lure you a little bit more…there’s something we will do…

Christmas Carol – Yes, let it snow let it snow (ur…rain I mean)
Christmas Superstar – Yes, is acting time!
Christmas Killer – Yes, is time for game!

Fancy Jap food? My chef and I decided to go east this round. Jap food is my all year favorite! However, don’t aspect sashimi lah. We are yet to learn the way to prepare raw fish without causing stomach upset. Let’s not take the risk.

Okie. Till then…let me know! ^_~

Extra Note: Can you see the fish with wings? What you saw is the reflection of the scenery in my dream. I dream of the yellow fish flying in the sky…where there are flowers waving with the wind in a summer day….

Oh yeah…I know…the invitation not very Christmas related hoh? But…let my tell you (since I am in this Christmas business now), the colour theme for next year will be Coral colour. Any color related to the underwater wold. Anyway, the reflection of the water in my dream is the reason why this images is used as the invitation design. Hope you like it. Cheers.

I have too little time…too many to do!

I wish I can be there during your birthday, your gathering, your exhibition, when you share jokes, catching a movie or even out for mamaking.

Instead, all I have…sadly, is only loads of work and meetings.

How can I get out of this???

I wish to team teach with Ezura on the new release (which is done and over…the next release is at the door step)
I wish to go for more Combat and Jam…urg…GOD know I am desperate!
I wish to cook the vege I bought from Cameron 2 weeks ago…they are all “GONE”
I wish to compile all my wedding photos and DVDs…still stuck in my mind
I wish to catch a few movie…now I need to consider where to get the DVDs
I wish to finish a few book… there’s a layer of dust on it
I wish I post and share more often…all hits became history…
I wish I could lay at the beach and do Nothing… think Nothing….
I wish I can just cling on JP and being a housewife.

Ops…how irresponsible is that. Anyway, I am just yanking….ya da ya da… arggg….I MISS YOU!

It is funny when one move on from one job to another hoping the load will be lighter, the task will easier to handle. Yet it must have some challenges to enable one to demonstrate his/ her problem solving skills.

Problems are usually unresolve issues from the past catching up on us. It doesn’t mean to be pleasant. So, solving it won’t be a pleasant process as well, especially when the problem is related to living things – HUMAN.

These problem can be easily resolve if you know about it, when it is just a tiny seed growing its first root and stems. It will usually require special attention and time spend together to be able to notice it. Else, it will get big and grow strong like a snowball waiting to overtake and swallow you in pain. That is the most scary “problem”…to me.

Yes, I am currently in one. Painful indeed. I wish I can be a little tough, a little stronger, having a little more courage with a little more wisdom.

I wish I can take the easy way out, yet I am not used to failure.

JP commented, “You cannot accept failure. Rachel Lim must success.”
I reply, “I always fails, but God required me to be excellent!”
JP reply,”Excellent Yes, Perfect No”
*Sight*

I won’t walk away from problem. I don’t usually do. I prefer to see it to past, even if the problem gonna take so much off me. I allowed myself to endure the pain but never walk away.

JP commented, “You are always harsh to self, but forgiving to others.”

Yes, with many holes in my heart, I will press on. Pray for me…will you?

Thank you for coming and helping out with my super ambitious(as usual) “The Affection Menu”. Hope you enjoy the food and the time we had together.

It is also a closing point of this important chapter call “The Big Day”.

Once again, thanks for making my “Big Day” a memorable one!

^_~ Cheers!

Hey guys and girls,

For those who have a little problemo called “Insomnia”. Check out the link below,

http://health.msn.com/health-topics/slideshow.aspx?cp-documentid=100214716&GT1=31019

As summarised, these are just some of the steps you can take so that you can zzzzzzzzz

• Turn off your mind
• The herbal approach
• Don’t waste your time in bed
• Don’t turn your bed into an office
• Try sex before bedtime
• Light up your life
• Eat a light snack before bedtime
• Use mechanical aids
• Avoid stimulants after twilight
• Learn and practice relaxation techniques
• Question your medication
• Create a comfortable sleep setting

It’s all in there,

my personal favourite activity that will put me to sleep.

• Reading Bible
• Pray

It’s the best way to end a day…