the moment of “letting go”

“Sometimes the storm of life can literally brings us to our knees. Child Pose gives us the opportunity for spiritual surrender, to realize that ‘of myself, I can do nothing, but there is a power in me that can.’ We spend our whole lives resisting the idea of surrender, we see it as a weakness, as giving up. Then suddenly we hit a point where we realize that the moment of “letting go” is not when life is over, it is when life really begins…”

The quote above is given to all the BB instructors during our release 45 tuition…a great sharing from our head teacher. I don’t remember the source or origin of the quote… I am simply touch by the feeling behind every word.

It has come to a point for me…instead of fighting on to hold on permanent class…where I struggle in achieving what I wish in the class, but sometime fail to deliver due to the tiredness of the day… it is better for me to let it go.  Some people think that I am over critical to self. Yet, it does take me a while to get over it every time it happened.  Cheating and tolerating with sub standard is not my option. So, I knew the end is coming.

It was a quiet month (cum busy month)…the load of my work has driven me up to my neck like everyone else. Looking at the rate, I knew I need to be prepared for the closure, and I am right.

It is hard for me to initiate the closure although I am so burn-out, because the thought of unable to teach has truly saddened me. So, when it finally happened, part of me… I am glad…relief that I can retrieve my responsibility for some rest. The other part of me…feeling sad, because I know letting go of this commitment might also lead to a complete closure of this chapter…I know, the season coming to an end.

It was just a short 2 years…a wonderful journey I treasure. So much hard work, a group of people burning with the same passion and the will to do better each time…for the moment of fitness magic, is truly encouraging. It is about self discipline, the determination to work on, lots of practice, the excitement of each release and the love for those who enjoy the journey in the class…is such a joy to be teaching…truly.

I can’t foresee where will I be heading…if I would take on one or two from time to time…or a complete stop due to my overwhelming schedule, I am not sure yet…Whichever it is, I truly wish, those who is with me for the past 2 years, will continue their journey, enjoying this beautiful program in the days to come.

Then suddenly we hit a point where we realize that the moment of “letting go” is not when life is over, it is when life really begins…”

4 Letters for Ruby

Dear Ruby,
Please take care of the key for me. You know how my darling forgot keys. Also give her a good hug and snuggle for me. Tell her I love her too.Your Master.

Received 12:22:13………………………………………………………………………..

Dear Ruby,
Remember to turn on the air-corn for my darling tonight, she scared of hot. And also I’m waiting to fly at the depature gate.

Received 14:27:04………………………………………………………………………..

Ruby,
Boarding now. Hope this place I’m going is better than my last place. Will try to call and sms my beloved one. Bye Ruby.

Received 14:52:27…………………………………………………………………………

Hey Ruby,
Tell my darling, I am safe in Cambodia. Please ask her not to worry. Love, your master.

Received 17:44:23………………………………………………………………………….

Once someone asked this question…
“Why do you want to get married?”

The one surpose to answer the question…
“…”

There are many reasons why a man and a women wanted to get married. However, the complication of getting married and the risk one have to take after the wedding is far too unpredictable. No one can promise it was the right one, the right decision and most important of all…one will be happy ever after.

Sadly, the world reminded us the opposite.  If one is not optimistic or naive, it does required extra ordinary courage to be married and continue to work on the marriage.

The first year of marriage…the newly wed has equal of sweet times and challenges to overcome together. Just imagine how the men from Mars can live well with a women from Venus. It does certainly required lots of patient and communication, carefully not to drive the fragile relationship to the wall. We must acknowledge that too many people jump-off the ship right after the ship is set to sail.

So, the effort to bring the relationship a step further, increasing the quota of forgiveness and love to a new height is the only way out.

Someone once ask this question…
“What will you do if he will never change?”

The one surpose to answer…
“Be patient and be nice. Wait for him, just like how he waited for you.”

The answer above is true unless one is prepared to change their spouse. But, how many more of this to go?

So, be nice to your spouse because he/she is your selected one.  Remember to do anything which will bring joy and comfort to his/her heart. It will surely increase your love capacity too because this is a two way thing.

And, this is Ruby! ^_~

Prison of the mind

When it happened, it is my self awareness reminding me where the problem lays… the fact that one can’t get out of it… mainly due to the emotion flood at the moment.

Oh God, it has surely taken away the smile on my face, leaving me with expressionless face and hollow eyes. If you were to see my face now….I am sorry.

But, I can’t do anything better.

When the emotion flood lost its control and if I have to talk, you will notice me speaking in a very “professional” tone. Everything is pleasant; everything is straight to the point with no fancy humor, casual conversation nor extra unnecessary words. You will notice I am somehow distance away.

Yet, it is…the best way I can talk at that moment.

I wish to be more cheerful and optimistic so I can simply sake it off me like hot potato. But I can’t. I notice my weakness but I couldn’t help in repeating it again and again. I am too obsessive compulsive and that is truly a killer. It is a real mind prison.

I have enough with my bitter pity sad sad face. I must see it past!

Life is easier if one is happy.

Thinking of the most expensive poop!

I love traveling, but I haven’t been doing it for a while. To me, working trip and leisure traveling is totally different story all over. The experience and and expectation is different. So, my Hong Kong cum China trip last year, and Germany cum London trip early this year is merely a biz trip. If you work with me before, or know the way I work, I am usually very objective oriented person. I will focus on what I want to achieved rather than where I must go and what I must do during my biz trip.

So now, I am going for a real trip to Bali. It is a valentine gift from JP. He know my desire for freedom and personal sophisticated preference. So, I basically get to make the call of what or where I would go. The disadvantage is, I have to do the homework.  Urgh…

Bali is a beautiful island with nice beaches, nice architecture building (usually palace & temple) with very own Bali flavor and many concept hotel given different sensation based on different choice. To me, there is something I really really want to do… on top of the beautiful beaches, shopping and spa and….it is to discover the taste of the infamous Kopi Luwak (civet coffee). It can be found in an Orchid Garden in Denpasar. The unusual Indonesian bean sells for as much as $1,200 a kilogram in the United States, making it the world’s most expensive coffee.

The coffee, branded as among he rarest in the world, is naturally fermented through a civet cat’s digestive tract. Luwak- a cat-like mammal that lives in coffee plantations in Sulawesi, Java and Sumatra. Luwak exists entirely only the choicest, most perfectly matured beans which it then excretes, collected, clean it up, roast it and finally brewing these beans produces an unusual drink. The beans are hard to come by, which makes it exclusive and therefore, to some…very high class.

I am very tempted to try the coffee for years, yet after several days of research and reading…I am considering to drop the idea. Based on one of the feedback I found, the Kopi Luwak doesn’t taste as fantastic as it sounds. The idea of drinking the “poo” wasn’t a great sight to begin with, on top of that, I am not confident with the cleaning and brewing process prior to serving. Lastly, it would cost me RM120 for 2, the most expensive coffee I ever had in my life.

I am not sure if I am trying to convince you, or myself that I am not going for it…but anyway, do let me know if you tried it before or if I should go and give it a try.

Cheers! ^_~

A Serenity Experience

I am in Frankfurt for the Christmas Fair 2009. It is my first time to Frankfurt…yet I didn’t get more time to go around, not even get a chance to drink the famous Germany beer…urgh! Actually, I started vomit the moment I touch down in the airport and I have not idea why. It doesn’t get better even after I settle down. Having the jet lag all over me, I am too very regular to the washroom.

So, the only one thing I do is some hot chocolate (the only food/drink my body allowed) and a walk at the park.

It is 8am in the morning…a breath of fresh air and the internal serenity experienced before beautiful scenery.

Morning walk at the park near my hotel

I can see the droplet of water on its head…

I don’t think this is eatable…

I simply love the colors and the lines…