Prison of the mind

When it happened, it is my self awareness reminding me where the problem lays… the fact that one can’t get out of it… mainly due to the emotion flood at the moment.

Oh God, it has surely taken away the smile on my face, leaving me with expressionless face and hollow eyes. If you were to see my face now….I am sorry.

But, I can’t do anything better.

When the emotion flood lost its control and if I have to talk, you will notice me speaking in a very “professional” tone. Everything is pleasant; everything is straight to the point with no fancy humor, casual conversation nor extra unnecessary words. You will notice I am somehow distance away.

Yet, it is…the best way I can talk at that moment.

I wish to be more cheerful and optimistic so I can simply sake it off me like hot potato. But I can’t. I notice my weakness but I couldn’t help in repeating it again and again. I am too obsessive compulsive and that is truly a killer. It is a real mind prison.

I have enough with my bitter pity sad sad face. I must see it past!

Life is easier if one is happy.